Seperti seorang bapak sayang kepada anaknya - Like a father loving his child

I looked through some pictures that Sean shared me about Dasso Family and there was a picture that really touching my heart. That picture reminds me of my Father in heaven.
I cannot close my eyes tonight and I am back on my computer to post something here. The title above “seperti bapak sayang anaknya” it’s Indonesian means “Like a father loving his child”.
It’s an Indonesian worship song which is one of my favorite song, reminds me that I have perfect Father. Father above fathers. How blessed I am that I was born as one who knows Him well, and so He knows me well like no others.

I have a dad, he is the of most awesome people in the world that inspires me. He has a heart to serve the Lord faithfully and teaching us to put God first in life. Something interesting to me about him is how the way he beats us J with one purpose he wants us to know where is the good things and bad things even more he wants us to live like what God wants us to live. Well, when we do worng things, at first he let us know our mistakes by asking question then he will hit up with his wooden cane and there is written on that “ there is love in this wooden”. Once he finish do it then we will go to hang out with him, and buying us some new stuffs that we like. Yeah! That’s my father in the world...

Well, how about our Father in Heaven? He also has the way to love us when we do wrong things, he knows how being a good Father for His people, He leads us, He taking care of us, feed up, even serve us! and He is more than our father in the world. When we do mistakes, and dont realized He know how to remind us...
I was thinking that I was a little girl and walk with her Father for buying sugar cookies. When we walked through the shops He kept hold my hand and singing with me, and the we stopped in a shop, He tried to get all sugar cookies for me, and so he let off my hand from his hand, I also wanted to get the other cookies though I didn’t know are they good for my healthy or not, so I turned my way and walked to find another cookies by my self... I didn’t know that I was doing a mistake, and probably He would shout at me and warned me, and grabbed my hands and back to the first potition where He found me the cookies.
Dear Lord God, I probably like this little girl, I didn’t know that I was doing a mistake because I didn’t know what is the best for me..but You, You really do.

I am so incredible blessed to have a Father in Heaven.
Much Love,


God Never Changes

I’ve been in hard weeks actually but God is faithful, He knows how to make me be rejoice in Him. Praise Jesus! And everyday God wants me to learn, learn by in trouble times...learn how to love Him more though in the deep valley. Is God testing me?...

Is God saying “ hey My daughter, are you faithful?”

“Do you love Me? Do you love Me just like at first time ?

Do you love Me just like what you say on your facebook status?”

Probably He saying that to me...

And if I can say, “Oh Lord God, are You still there?”

“I can’t hear You”

It’s like me and God, t’that we are talking one each other in a long distance and can’t see one each other. But I know that God is for me, He is waiting me come to Him. I just do not know who’s how’s, why’s. Surrender...surrender..is all that I can do.
This morning, I woke up and sat on my bed read my Bible, it’s just I do every morning, I want to start my day with One I love. I love reading Psalm, I just thought it’s very me, how was king David’s prespective is represent my prespective to God. It’s on Psalm 77...it happens to me though.
Reading this, and it strengthen me, playing some new songs this morning, it’s such a blessing! I put also the lyrics however this lyrics help your heart to understand God in you :)
I love this song by Kari Jobe, I've ever heard her before but this is her song that first time I heard. It's about God never leaves you for shaken...

So faithful. So constant. 
So loving and so true.
So powerful in all You do.

You fill me. You see me. 
You know my every move
and You love for me to sing to You.

I know that You are for me. 
I know that You are for me.
I know that You will never, 
forsake me in my weaknesses

I know that You have come now, 
even if to write upon my heart.
To remind me who You are.

So patient, So gracious, 
So merciful and true…
So wonderful in all You do. 
You know me. You see me.
You know my every move. 
You love for me to sing to You

Lord, I know that You are for me.
I know that You are for me.
I know that You will never, 
forsake me in my weaknesses.
I know that You have come now, 
even if to write upon my heart.

To remind me that 
I know that You are for me.
I know that You are for me.
I know that You will never, 
forsake me in my weaknesses.
I know that You have come now,
even if to write upon my heart.
To remind me who You are. 

I know that You are for me.
I know that You are for me.
I know that You will never, 
forsake me in my weaknesses.
I know that You will come now,
even if to write upon my heart.
To remind me of who You are.

I only put my favorite part of the lyric

I believe in sun even when it's not shining,
I believe in love, even when I don't feel it,
I believe in God, even when He is silent,

Friends, this is what I keep in my heart 
" I will love Him no matter what, no matter how the situation brings you down, no matter life takes you in the deep valley, no matter God is not answering me but one thing I know that He loves me, and He is faithful and never changes"

Much Love,


Untitled but...Mom, I'll be home for Christmas...

Working in AIESEC and even being AIESECer is what I want since January this year and I got involved this September. I even prayed and asked God to give me this opportunity, and yeah! I did it, God worked it out :). I started to work in AIESEC in my University.
This is my third year in my college, and getting ready from International Relations bachelor and my focus is divided in two. This is the risk that I should take and I have thought  before.

On November 25th I went with AIESEC Team for the International Youth  Leadership  Conference. I never expected before for this conference, many things I got from this conference, it pushed me to run and catch my dreams, I met many new friends and they are just like my new family. The conference spent 4 days. and I thanked God for that :). I love it even though I was pretty much tired and spent much money :D.
                    (me and my AIESEC team )

oh wait...did I told you before that how much I love Latin Countries??  No?! okay. So, I got in love with latin stuffs when  many people said that my I am like latin girl even my name sounds like latin's one hehe :P but more that these, I met  latin families and they are too awesome. I like theirs passions to God and they are too friendly, the most I love is my sister in Honduras Nicole Bravo, she and family have been sweet to me. I've been praying to go rounding the whole latin countries. This is look too gross huh? but I CANT deny it :)

So I met a man from Netherlands mr. Gerlof, he visited my orphanage about May or June and I got a chance to help him, lent him my computer, and I shared him all my dreams, my studies, what I am doing now, and he said that he is going to help me. so when he back to his country I got an email, he offered me to go to Guatemala next  year...and I was WOW! at the first time when I read that. Then I arranged some documents for this, even I invest myself before doing this awesome chance, and I decided to get spanish course, me gusta espanol muchooo!!! jajajaja :D so I am taking my spanish course now.
Well, back to AIESEC,my first journey in AIESEC made me met a guy from Colombia, his name is Camilo, he works in AIESEC in Indonesia for the Expansion Team, he guides me and my friends to how to work, and developing our skills. I was so happy meet him at first time, he is the first Latin people that I met, I hope talk in spanish more with him but he is kinda clumsy in talking with new people..hmm I don't know to describe it but I tried to get him talk to me more, and I told him all about my Latin stories, but Camilo had no expressions for that except I said that I am going to Guatemala, and he said Guatemala is beautiful country. *_* jeje..estoy feliz de verte Camilo, I hope you know that! :)
               ( me con mi Colombiano hermano Camilo)
I believe God is in my life He is the One who orchestral my whole life.  GOD, You are just amazing no matter what!!

AIESEC, my studies and my spanish course make me not be able to get home for 3 weeks...oh :( I promised before to my mom to decorating home before Christmas, but this is fourth day in December, I miss you Mom..I'll be home for Christmas...how much I miss her!

Thank you Jesus for my family that always support me in all I do, and dad, I will never forget all your words, they are always in my heart and my mind.." GOD MUST BE NUMBER ONE IN YOUR LIFE" that is his words before I start my career journey.



~A little Hope in Heavy Rain~

Dear friends, I am sitting here in the front of my computer through all day...if I could stop my mind to think about life, because I’ve been tired. I only want tonight a space where there is nothing else but me and Jesus, I cant hold to live far away from His embracing, I really can’t hold it. I need Him every single second.

A couple months ago before my internship until I finished my internship in Bali, only three words for what has happened to me “ GOD IS AMAZING” yes He is. He has owned my futures.
It was great moments in my internship, I learn so many thing especially in major, and most the awesome thing was meet the President of East Timor, but goes beyond it all I met lovely people in the place where I did my internship. They treat me like their family and guided me to learning all things there. Even they celebrated my birthday.  Many things that I could not write here, it’all is wow, wow, and wow!!!

So I am back to school again to finish my studies, I hope I can finish at the begining of next year. I really want to work, I am a dreamer, many things I want to do for God and people here and the world. “Oh Lord Jesus, I can’t do this without you”
I know I will do, and I almost there, I only want that God uses me through what He has gifted me, the desires that He put in my heart.

I read my Bible at night and in the morning, I want to close with Him, I won’t be separated with Jesus. He is too sweet and I’m in love with Him, and worshiping Him, and thank you to the Lord for the album “You are Love” by Darlene Zschech, spending time in my room listening to this song and thinking of my beautiful Jesus

Well, back to the top, about life... “I want to get the job” for my school, I live in developing countries which is not easy to get a job for the young lady like me. I won’t bother my parents with my school stuff, I really want to make them happy and helping them. But I can’t :’( this is still be in my top prayer and also for my realtionship with my someone special. Sometimes I feel tired to mention these pareyers...but I know God is good, He is not changing and doesnt change... there is a little hope in the heavy rain, and I want to dance in faith.

Thank you Jesus for today! I love you and will always love you.


Dedicated to Brooke Fraser

Well, have you ever seen this girl? or listen to her songs or even you sing it like sometimes.
She is Brooke Fraser exactly Brooke Fraser - Ligertwood after she married. I love her when the first time I saw she sung in Hillsong United.
Pointed nose, like a bird's beak, the glow black hair, the  big lips post under her nose like a pink love cake.
has a tall body
sometime her face looks like Anne Hathaway, sometime like Evelyn Salt ( Angelina Jolie )
but about two years later after the first time I saw her, I heard her another song. "Deciphering Me".
Actually I have loved her since I saw she sing with Hillsong and Darlene Z. like Lord of Lords and Hosanna. My favorite favorite song. I keep playing my guitar and sing it.
I've wondered who is this girl, I thought she just a worship leader at Hillsong, I tried to figure out and she has millions thing that makes me want her.

She wrote stunning words in her songs
Every song describes each page of my life.Even she wrote about the coming of my True Prince Jesus Christ. I think she has writen the beautiful love song to Jesus " Day is dimming"
and, she is beautiful in sing, I love to see her silliness in every video.

her style, almost turn to the vintage, old stuff, and I like it. It's about simply and beauty

and the last thing, she is loving,  helping and caring person. hmmmm The Charity Water to African Kids. :)

Dear Brooke Fraser, I dream you other night that I hung out  with you. I hope and pray someday I can watch you in live or see you  sing in heaven to adoring our King.

I hope you like this, I am not cool in writting hehe ;)




~The Story of Samuel's Mother~

If I could describe who was Hannah by reading 1 Samuel 1. She was weak woman but she was strong woman inside. She never stop begged to God for many years and asked Samuel. Faithful woman, she always believe in the God of Israel. She couldn't turn what Penninah did to her. She turned by sobbing unto God's throne.

I love reading this story, with a reason that I am just like her sometime hehe :p ( she won't eat when she was sad ) it's silly :D thing but I have no hunger when I am down.
7 This went on year after year. Whenever Hannah went up to the house of the LORD, her rival provoked her till she wept and would not eat. 8 Her husband Elkanah would say to her, “Hannah, why are you weeping? Why don’t you eat? Why are you downhearted? Don’t I mean more to you than ten sons?”
When life knocks me down nothing could do but come to Jesus, He who delivers all my pains. He is my Joy!

Back to Hannah, what have I learned from this blessed woman ?


She knows where should she come to pour out her souls.
God is the first place to me to come, He is my very present in time of need, even He knows me  well and my heart knows Him well. Telling my feeling to my family or friends makes me feel better but telling God what's my feeling will change everything. That is why, I come to Him, His presence is where my strength and joy come from. We are blessed ones, we can call, ask, and talk with Him anytime we need, we do not to have mobile phone, or internet connection to talk with Him, and worship keeps our hearts connected with Him. What a glorious Father. For I know He close to us when we are in affliction.
 The righteous person may have many troubles,
   but the LORD delivers him from them all; (Psalm 34 : 19)
God holds the universe, He holds everyone on earth. He who orchestra the whole universe. and Why are we to worried about life? why are we too worried about the future? He holds our every moment. Come to God, praise Him. Shaking His throne!

Having faithfulness heart is a heaven's asset in our lives to walk through this life. Through tears and joy, no matter what. Believing in God, life always has its ups downs and it would never change How good is the Lord. :)

Be blessed!


You love me anyway by Sidewalk Prophets

Hey, I really love this song, I hope you too!

The question was raised
As my conscience fell
A silly little lie

It didn't mean much
But it lingers still
In the corners of my mind

Still you call me to walk
On the edge of this world
To spread my dreams and fly

But the future's so far
My heart is so frail
I think I'd rather stay inside

But You love me anyway
It's like nothing in life
That I've ever known
Yes You love me anyway
Oh Lord, how You love me
How you love me

It took all of my strength
To simply be still
To seek but never find

The reasons we change
The reasons I doubt
And Why do loved ones have to die?

But You love me anyway
It's like nothing in life
That I've ever known
Yes You love me anyway
Oh Lord, how You love me

I am the thorn in your crown
But You love me anyway
I am the sweat from Your brow
But You love me anyway
I am the nail in Your wrist
But You love me anyway
I am Judas' kiss
But You love me anyway
See now I am the man who yelled out from the crowd
For Your blood to be spilled on this earth shaking ground
Yes then I turned away with a smile on my face
With this sin in my heart, tried to bury Your grace
And then alone in the night I still call out for You
So ashamed of my life, my life, my life

But You love me anyway
Oh God, how You love me
Yes You love me anyway
It's like nothing in life
That I've ever known
Yes You love me anyway
Oh Lord, how You love me

You love me (x4)

How You love me (x3) 


I'm back here, and wanted to let you know some stuffs. If you read my posts before you might be wondering what was happening to me. And I answer that was another color  of my life-chapter :) and God was there.
The devil, really wants to destroy my family, include me, and I think he has been trying harder since last year but God always protects my whole family. Look! we are okay, though my parents fight sometimes but recent days they are dating and spending time with my brothers, sister and three my dogs. So devil, how poor you are! :P

Oh, few months ago I also telling you all, about my studies, how much I struggle to finish my school, I have been rejected for my internship 6 times, and here the 7 God worked it perfectly ( 7 is God's number, and also my bf number ;) ) I will take off from Solo tomorrow night to Bali and how blessed I am, my parents too will take me to the airport. I really can't wait for my career life, and I want Jesus is there too. Oh He is my top heart in life!

Back to the past for a while, I was really depressed by what was happening last week, I have prayed and fasted for that because...I didn't know at all, where is the way that I should walk through, I was wrong, I made mistakes, and I felt like God was silent. I did make mistake because I didn't know His ways.


I've been wondering, though I made some mistakes, and probably hurt Him but I still love Him, I love Him though I was on the wrong way, He stunning me! I'm too in love with Jesus. That is my first Thanksgiving.

and,.. He just answered me, pour out His soul to me at that night when I met Him, I was overwhelmed in His presences. I talked much with Him and He made me understand one thing

" you don't need to be good, or perfect,  you don't need try to be precious in the front of people, though you know that you are precious so you will not to arrange the things of life. You only need to be with Me always, no matter where the bus takes you, you will be safe. Be with Me always My dear daughter, because I want you "

I know, I'll be precious when I am with Him.
Here is my heart that full of thanksgiving, that You are there for me. Thank you Jesus!



Jesus, I surrender, yesterday I was wrong, blind, weak...my heart was broken, You are my creator, please take my burden and create my heart into beauty again….

Jesus, I surrender, yesterday I was wrong, blind, weak...my heart was broken, You are my creator, please  take my burden and create my heart into beauty again….

Yesterday was the most emberassing, and saddest thing in life.  I do not know why am I too weak…  or how could this happen to me… *sigh* oh Lord, I even thought that God doesn’t care and love me.
I always be afraid if I see my parents fight, how many times they fight in the front of me ? many times. I’ve been so worried if ith will happen in my future, when I see it, it hurts my heart many times, so I decided I won’t be married with anyone. Even I thought I am not beautiful, nice girl, or someone perfect to the best one. How many time I feel that I am humility one. I was so ashemed, I hurt my beloved Jesus’ heart. I broken His heart.
At that day, I got many text message from my family

“ you are stupid, you just broke mom and dad, you made them fight”

“are you crazy Eva?!?!? What a hell you thinking of ?!?!, look what happened to this family”

“Hello, thank you for destroying us, you said you love God, where is that?!?!”

…. Tears…tears..and tears… I didn’t know what I should do, I had no idea, … my parents always fight and it most happen
Yeah…tears, broken heart, tears, broken heart… I was trying t let it go, who I need to talk with? God?! Oh I just hurt Him, my boyfriend?!  He is too far, he is busy, he might not be able understand my english, I could not expressed all things in my heart into English…

I thought I could email him, finally I wrote him telling him what I was feeling, that was what I felt. Without think that whether that email could hurt him…

But I think yes, he didn’t respond anything that I wrote, not sure he liked it or he was busy… forgive me Sean, I only want you to know my feeling at that time…

This is my life and this is reality…

I am not good one I think, Jesus, you don’t need to be proud of me … I can’t make Him smile all the times, I’ve been trying my best…

Will God forgive me…?

Or  Does He turns everything for good…?

Will He heal my heart…?

Open up my eyes…?

I don’t know how should I live mylife to Him, I read His word everyday, trying to be right for Him everyday, think of Him everyday…I only do these because I want Him be proud of me.
And I got nothing…
I never know where my my bus takes me? If this bus stop, do I need to out from the bus? Or I should waiting for the next destination… is the next destination better or worse?
Jesus… Jesus..Jesus I have put and always Your name in my heart… and how could I feel I can be precious again for You and people arround me?
I still love You, no matter what, no matter my bus takes me to wrong destination, I still love You and waiting for you.
I surrender…I surrender..I surrender…
Please create my heart into beauty again, and make me know that You love me.
Forgive me everyone…please..*begging*



Jesus..I need You..Jesus I need You!

Dear Lord Jesus,
It has been hard being here, I’m in confuses, I don’t know where the place I run to…
I keep daring my hear to believe in every promises You said, in every words You told me, please help me to stand on Your words. I know You very well, in every moment You never leave me, and my heart full of praises, praises of Your greatness.
I’m in trouble times…I’m in trouble times, You are only One that could help me…please come and relieve me. I need You Jesus! I need You Jesus! I need You Jesus.!
Thank for being awesome God, I love You so.

These are about my studies, my future, my family, and my love life…

This is the last years of my studies, I have struggled to be graduated soon on early 2012, and I did it! Thank you Jesus! Now for my internship and small thesis that I have to write for my graduation, oh I feel like school is killing me in the other side. I have rejected 6 times by the internship places with many reasons. Oh Lord, what’s happening with me? I don’t what I have to do, please open another door to me. I don’t know what I have to do right now *sobbing*

My future, I’m not knowing where I’ll go after this, but so many desires, desires to delight my Lord Jesus Christ. He put so many compassions in my heart for my country especially people who live in my hometown Halmahera. I’m too young with no experiences, what should I do before pray and encouraging people. Is that enough? NO! so many tears are there, it’s time to do something telling them that God will change their lives for good, and do helping them. They live in poverty but God uses the nature to entertain them. THAT’S AWESOME!  yeah…but they still need me… people who want to take them out from all these lives, and Jesus is the only way. ( that’s all about what I will do in the future but I am still not sure about that)

About my family…I thank God for each one of them, and they are my beautiful gift from God. They supporting me, and I always feel better with them, they complete my life. Its my turn to say thank you, I dont feel pretty enough to delight them, I will do everything for them… and the One could help me is Jesus.


Indescribable Thoughts ♥

I cant close my eyes tonight, my heart is still wondering how much He loves me, and this heart full of thankfulness so I write this and I want you have same feeling with me, that you are falling in love with Him.
“I am Yours and and You are mine, I’m Your bride and I’ve been waiting for the wedding bells ringing, You make me feel beyond the beautiful and more than precious pearls”
Those words are tuning in my head and just like God won’t to stop talking in my heart.
I love wake up in the morning, when I see the sun rises, He is there and saying good morning my daughter, even in the mid day the blue sky reminds me of His awesomeness that takes me closer to Him and when I see the stars twinkling, He is saying that He loves me.
So how could I forget Him? It’s all like a gravity that pulls me back, when I’m lost. I only find my rest in His presence, and I want let all my burdens go, and just me and Him, we are just like pair brides that face to face. At the moment I feel like I’m the only one that He needs.
I sat down on the ground and look at to the sky “ Why do You want me?”
Whispering gently in my heart “ I know everything about you, I know all your ways, and before you were born I set you apart ”
All that I can say is I’m falling in love with Him, in every single day He makes me love Him. I’m like a bride that waiting for Him. I want to be with right beside Him when He comes.
I pray that you have same feeling with me, that you not only love Him but also you are falling in love with Him. When you get in love with Him, it’s more than a prayer that you pray.

Psalm 139:1-2
“You have searched me, LORD, and You know me,
You know when I sit and when I rise,
You perceive my thoughts from afar “

Much Love,



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