~LORD Remembered Her ♥~

-They rose early in the morning and worshiped before the LORD; then they went back to their house at Ramah. And Elkanah knew Hannah his wife, and the LORD remembered her.-
1 Samuel 1:19

Dear friends,
Do you have a special prayer? A prayer that you always say when you lift your heart to God. A prayer that make your eyes teary each time you talk about it to God. A prayer that for years you have been waiting that God will answer it.
I have... I've been praying for years, day by day, each night when I pour out my soul to the Lord. I pray with brokenhearted, with tears in my face and hands... and I remember the story of Hannah.
 I probably just like her at the moment. She might be a lady who has no friends to be comfort to sharing her heart's grief. Even her husband. 

"And Elkanah, her husband, said to her, “Hannah, why do you weep? And why do you not eat? And why is your heart sad? Am I not more to you than ten sons?”
I can imagine Hannah's heart at the moment while Elkanah said this to her. Maybe she mumbled in her heart.

"Oh my beloved husband, you are more precious than anything in this world, but it just hurts my heart so deep when I see the women cuddling with their kids, and even Penina provokes me"
 The Lord is the Only One she poured out her soul, with tears, and brokenhearted. But at the end the Lord remembered her.

I was thinking that just maybe God using this prayer to draw me close to Him, and to know Him well more each day, I pray till God remember me...and I am hoping that someday I write my praises to the Lord here :).

and if not He is still good, and I will praise Him.

He will yet fill your mouth with laughter,
    and your lips with shouting.
Job 8:21


Sharing my stroies of this week

Happy anniversary to my parents! Today exactly 28 years they've been together as one in flesh and Christ.
Oh you know my friends (if you read the older posts) that I truly adore both of them, their relationship, their ministries, and how they taking care of me.
Normally every year they celebrate it but today we are apart. My mom is taking my sister and my oldeat brother for  new jobs  since last week, and my dad with me here with my youngest brother.
Dad and I bought her shoes and my dad put on her 

this is on January 2013 when my mom's birthday

Last week not only my sister, brother and mom, but also my grandma - 82 years old. 
On February my grandma moved here with us, she said she wanted to see her grownup kids after 18 years she didnt see one of us. So yes, she moved here. It was hard for her that almost 82 years she lived in a small village which is so so far from the town, no electricity, she lived with my aunt, she worked in garden for the whole of her life, and once she picked the harvest she sold it but 10 years ago she stopped because she was not longer tough to do those things. Now she moved in here, in the city, she just stayed at home sitting, sometimes singing, sometimes read the Bible, and sometimes sleep, I figured out she couldn't adapt with everything here that so much different from the place she lived. And She said to my dad that she wanted to go home, her grandkids also no longer babies but they are apart to work. That's why she wanted to go back. So yes, my dad couldnt denied her please.

 She is my grandma from my dad. Well, I am not close to her as closed as my grandma from my mom. But I am so much like her, the way I talk, sing, and walk, sit. When she moved here on February, I realized that I need to spend more time with her. I was hard though I was busy with study and I only get back to home at nights.  Last week I kissed her in the car before she left, and she cried, she said something for me like " I will not see her again" and I was like " No granny, I will visit you and my sister next year, and let's we gardening"
and my friend.....she has gone yesterday she is with the Lord right now. I really believe it because she lived her live with the Lord. I am so glad that she is no more feel the pains, but I am sad that sometimes I miss her and couldn't see her for awhile till I meet her in heaven :) Dear grandma, you look young again, and more beautiful. Now you're with our Savior. See you in heaven :)

So, my dad's friend offered help to my dad. My dad couldnt come to see grandma because Java and Halmahera about 7 hours by aeroplane + 3 hours by spit-boat and 4 hours by car, to reach the village. It really cost of things. So my dad's friend has booked the flight ticket for him, and tomorrow he will meet my mom, sister, and my aunt's family. Praise The Lord! He is Jehovah Jireh! :)

One thing my friends, I feel God really close to me, through the things that my family in. I can see that how He loves us. Through tears and joy, He always by my side.

~When I am afraid I put my trust in You~ Psalm 56:3


Beautiful friends in College

You know my friends, that I've been in my hard times but I have really beautiful friends who encourage me and help me through this hard times. They pray for me, offering helps, and sharing back their burdens to me.
I have wanted to post this before I graduate...

This is Chika and Me
Dear Chika, 
You are the most closest friend. The most calling  and texting in my phone is you. It's been 5 years we're friends. You make me in love with Japan and its cultures. You always relax in everything and playing cool when it comes to your part. You have HELPED me ALOT and many many many times. You know mostly of my secrets. I remember every Thursday we went to church and prayed. We SPENT much money to foods and movies hahaha (sshhh). And sorry I always make you busy when I come to you. :)
te amo mucho hermana.

Grace and Me

Dear Ka Grace,
You are the most amazing woman that I ever met. Your heart to serving God is so beautiful and inspiring me. You are great teacher to the children. You always offering help to me and never say No when I ask your help, though you were sick you try to do your best for me. I remember when we woke in the early morning and read the Bible and worshiped God. That's the beautiful moment. I remember when I played piano and you sang in the wedding that's beautiful. Thank you so much for the hospitality when each time I visit you and sleep with you. The morning tea with you always beautiful. Thank you that you always encourage me to seek God more. :)

Sonia and Me
Dear Sonia,

You are the most craziest girl and hot girl that I've ever met!!! hahaha Thank you for being beautiful friends and always help me in my studies, and you inspiring me and many many girls with your thoughts about purity in God's sight . You are such a great example for the girls now-days. I'm praying that your dreams come true :)

Eta and me
Dear Eta,
You are such a sweet friends, ALWAYS inspiring me in many ways....especially you heart of compassion. I am praying that someday you will have an orphanage. thank you for being such a good partner to sharing this life. I remember in that night we talked about future until early morning hahaha. Thank you so much to always host me. I'm sure you will be great leader in the future :) and thank you for you heart to Loving God more and more. and again thank you that helped me many times, and thank you that you gave me such a good influence :)

Juju and me

Dear Juju,

you are nice friend to me...I thank you for being friend with me for almost 5 years. :) it's always great to spending time together...and Papa always remember your name hehe:) hope someday you will be in Italy :)

me and Catharina ( Atin)

Dear Atin,
Thank you for always being with me during the school. I remember, you are the first friend of mind in college. The first time I talked in my college is you. Thank you for the gifts that you gave me. I still have your picture in my wallet hahaha :). I was teary when I knew you're engaged last year. I'm hoping that I will be able to come to your big day :)

Eston and me

Dear Eston,

You are the smartest brother that I've ever met! and your faith to God still inspiring me in many ways. Thank you for being such a great brother and helping me as always :) Thank you fro the book Redeeming Love that you bought for me when you're back from States. I really really thank you for that beautiful book. Thank you that you always say that "my love story" is the most beautiful love story that you ever heard in this universe. It always makes me smile. I remember when we were on the bus together talking and eating haha :) 

Bunda and me

Dear Bunda,

Thank you for taking care of me during our internship in Bali, thank you for all you advises to me a s a young lady who face the world. Thank you until now you always contact me and saiy " I miss you Eva" :) I love your cooking, always tasty for me :)

Thank you for Ka Ellen, Mey, Ode, Lelly. K Ellen, you are great sister for me :) I love you, and waiting you to come to my house... :)

and for my AIESEC family LC UPN Veteran Yogyakarta. You are always be my inspiration and encoraging me to chase my dreams. :)



last time with my sister (photo shoot)

“Sister. She is your mirror, shining back at you with a world of possibilities. She is your witness, who sees you at your worst and best, and loves you anyway. She is your partner in crime, your midnight companion, someone who knows when you are smiling, even in the dark. She is your teacher, your defense attorney, your personal press agent, even your shrink. Some days, she's the reason you wish you were an only child.” 
― Barbara Alpert

Thank you for coming. I'm hoping you all doing great. I've been busy help set stuff and things before my siblings move. Yeah...I'm 23 and I the only one who stays with my parents haha :D. So this the last time before she left  to work to another island...probably I will see her next couple years. I'm hoping, she will work as midwife in a village which is so so so far from city life (though she is city girl, love hanging out with friends to the mall) with this I think God just started to change her life. I'm praying. 
My sister.....she is my versus person. What I dislike is what she likes. I'm gentle and weak and she is so arrogant and tough. She doesnt like stay for long time and listen people's advises. I love staying at home and she doesn't.

 But God has set it all, she is midwife. Something that God could use it to change.
We fight A LOT, crying together sometimes, and praying together...
But this what I LOVE from her. She never says NO when I ask her help. She once fought with some girls who wanted  to rude at me when I was 12 oh LOL. She is 2 years younger than me but she looks older than me. And here some pictures of her that I took and pictures of me that she took.

and here is the last picture. :)

Thank you for stopping by :)



~I Am Praying~

This is my top prayers... mean no matter which moment I am in, and I always say this pray. Even I am doing something I lift my heart to God and say this prayer. And I won't give up to say this prayer again and again. I wanted to post in this blog and so someday when God answer, and I remember of the day I have said it.

Dear Heavenly Father,
I am praying for my family. My parents, I know that You have seen how much they're suffering in ministering, and I believe You will crown them with majesty in heaven and I confess that You also has blessed them so much in many ways and You still there for them. For my siblings I put their futures in Your hand, all their desires but the most is heart to loving You more and more and someday we could see one each other in heaven. No best friends like them in this world, please remind us about Love of heaven. That we will love each other though we apart someday.

I am praying for my future. This is always the hardest part of my life sometimes my eyes closed tightly and won't see everything next to me. I am scared and worried. But I want to say that You own mylife...You have owned since You died on the cross. I give it all to You, and please take it back, I want to obey You because I love You. Let Your will be done. Please help me to live my life for You, please don't let me go. Please open my eyes to the things unseen around me. I have a lot of dreams just like stars in sky but I want to give it back to You, and I will do what I can do. Please keep my eyes fixed on You.

I am praying for my relationship. I did and do believe that You have led me to this relationship. I know You have been writing this and all it's beautiful. I love when people wondering about my relationship and I told them that it's so much fun like roll coaster You take me to this adventure. Sometimes it's hard because of the distance but I have figured out that You made me so I can chase You more in my lonely moment and I completely trust You for my love life, and again as I am waiting You made me more faithful and stronger. My eyes are still on You for what You are going to do. Thank you that You put beautiful man after Your own heart. He has been such a good friend over 6 years and I love him just like You have loved me.

I am praying for the christian people that will survive in suffering while they live in this crazy world. Let Your fire fall down and burn us and we work well in the Your field before the day You're coming.  And especially for friends who don't know You...I pray that You would save them too.
Thank You Lord for all that You have done and You are going to do.


Joining Hilda's Giveaway| Invisible Spy: Stealing Her Beauty

Dear my friends, I really really want to say thank you for all of you that put encouragement words and prayers. I will post the harvest days of my sowing tears now. So I am join in Hilda's Giveaway.
The first time I met her I was just surprised that she wrote a book called The Invisible Spy (Spying on The Lives of Celebrities), and I am also so much inspired by her faith to God, her loyal and kindness to her friends and especially her talent in writing though she is younger than me, but I want to learn more from her.

So she has giveaway and I LOVE the treasures of giveaway. I decided to join and win it I hope to win it. Besides, I want to read the book she wrote I also want to have that cute ring :)
One of the rules is I need to put an unique collage with the subject "Invisible Spy" and this is my imagination and my creation.
Invisible Spy: Stealing Her Beauty

So I put the theme called "Stealing Her Beauty" and I use Selena Gomez picture of Sleeping Beauty...well, I love Selena Gomez. If you're wondering " why does she like Selena Gomez?!?"  because the first time I read about Selena Gomez in a Christian Youth Magazine, and She is inspiring of the heart of love and caring, especially for children in the poverty, war, and disability Read here for more and I can feel that she loves God ( I'm hoping) :) So with this Giveaway theme "I wish I could be a spy to steal her beauty inside-out" haha.

Now for the questions:
1) If you could spy without being seen, which celebrity would you spy on? of course Selena Gomez
2) What would you do if you teleported over to your celeb's house? Actually I don't really understand the "teleported meaning but I googling it and my answer is " I would steal her beauty while she was sleeping and I exchange with my spirit and so we will have heart connection. 
3) Would you lend your magical ring to someone else? Who? I don't think so. No body knows would be better for me.
4) Would you spy on your crush and friends? yes I would love to see my friend's curious face haha and for the crush I want they can feel me though they can't see me
Would you tell anyone of your secret (magical ring) ? No.
7) Finally, why would you like to win this giveaway? Because I REALLY want to read the book and also the cute magical ring :)

Dear Hilda,
No matter if  I couldnt win this giveaway but I just want to have this post for you as my thank you for being such a sweet sister for me.



I need Jesus

Honestly...honesttttlly... my heart feel so tired that has been charged many times by time and situation. You know my friends I wrote here sometimes a go.
It's been hard days for me, and I've been trying to seek God to understand His will for me and what He wants me to do but you know it seems like nothing and that why I am tired.
Again....my siblings will move in the next couple days to get a job, and when it's my turn. I have no idea to decided what I should do first, there are such things in the front of me and I have to grab one by one...each one has another reason for me to stay or go.
Again... Sometimes I have no idea when they talk to me and  comparing with others' happy lives.
Well maybe some of you who read this would say "Oh poor you" but that's what I am now and I am proud of my struggle. I am so ready for next struggle that this crazy world gives me.

Sometimes I hear this "you're nothing, no body cares and knows you, even your God" but I remember Job and his struggle, I have better situation  than he was and we have same God.

I love being in this place or sometimes on my roof.
I love bring a book here and reading and have a conversation with God. 
I went to this place yesterday and today.
A place where I talk with Him and sometimes cry hehe ;)

Now I remind myself again for what God has done in the past...that's the only thing that makes me grateful in my hard days. Though it hurts and hard but all I want that Jesus please don't let me go... I don't need to always be happy in this crazy world I just need Jesus more and more and more.


One of Secret Stories

“ For the Lord sees not as man sees: man looks on the outward appearance, but the Lord looks on the heart.” 

1 Samuel 16:7

I probably was too young to my age (14)  to thinking about dating. Oh well, dating a guy was too far for me, I didn't really care about dating a guy at the time but at least, if I could steal their attention to me would be so cool. Hmm let’s see I was not like another girls who so arrogant to showing up their selves and appearances – I was thinking at the time that I was the embarrassing one if I show up myself in public, I even didn't know how to make myself look nice in the front of my friends but you know, I always praying and asked God to give me beautiful look to everyone hehe (this is top secret) :D . I was friend with ordinary friends who were also just like me. Then what is going to be special in me to attract my friends? The answer is “inside me” I have tried many ways to attract people like other girls with how they styling hair, the cool outfit, nail polishes, with what they have but it all seemed would be failed to me – didn't work at all. What’s the meaning of “inside me”? It’s all about who you are and not outward appearance. 

via Pinterest

It was Friday afternoon when the class was over. My teacher asked my friends to give applause to me that I have helped to keep the classroom clean (I loved to see my teacher is happy when she enters the classroom and do something like clean or reading in the spare time during the school). So at the moment my friends gave applause with shouting out, I was feeling honored and satisfied. I was so happy at the day, and soon God speak to me. You are beautiful in that way! I didn't click with what God said to me I was thinking of God just gave me a compliment that I delighted Him with doing the right thing or just something inside me was trying to encourage me. Hmmm … 
As we walk with God, the Spirit of God will lead us to the right path, even when we took the wrong direction, He will turn us back, and I always love the way how He pulls me back. Always faithful and beautiful. Again, I was known as a tender and quiet girl and to cover that how shy I was I use smile. Smile is the only thing to make me confidence even though they don’t smile back at me (haha but that would be awkward)  but the most people said this “ Oh, they way you smile bring peace to my soul” See Eva…That’s how God put make up on you!( But it doesn’t mean that I keep smiling all the time haha). 

I found the new theory to beautiful in that moment  when I can please my God, that’s the only thing for me to attract the universe, God has thought me that to be beautiful is when your heart connected to God and it will shine out from yourself – it’s like the light touches the beautiful gem and the light reflection from the gem will dance around you. Light is God and the gem is your heart when these two things get connected you’ll how it dance beautifully.


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