I need Jesus

Honestly...honesttttlly... my heart feel so tired that has been charged many times by time and situation. You know my friends I wrote here sometimes a go.

It's been hard days for me, and I've been trying to seek God to understand His will for me and what He wants me to do but you know it seems like nothing and that why I am tired.

Again....my siblings will move in the next couple days to get a job, and when it's my turn. I have no idea to decided what I should do first, there are such things in the front of me and I have to grab one by one...each one has another reason for me to stay or go.

Again... Sometimes I have no idea when they talk to me and  comparing with others' happy lives.

Well maybe some of you who read this would say "Oh poor you" but that's what I am now and I am proud of my struggle. I am so ready for next struggle that this crazy world gives me.

Sometimes I hear this "you're nothing, no body cares and knows you, even your God" but I remember Job and his struggle, I have better situation  than he was and we have same God.

I love being in this place or sometimes on my roof.

I love bring a book here and reading and have a conversation with God. 

I went to this place yesterday and today.

A place where I talk with Him and sometimes cry hehe ;)

Now I remind myself again for what God has done in the past...that's the only thing that makes me grateful in my hard days. Though it hurts and hard but all I want that Jesus please don't let me go... I don't need to always be happy in this crazy world I just need Jesus more and more and more.