I need Jesus

Honestly...honesttttlly... my heart feel so tired that has been charged many times by time and situation. You know my friends I wrote here sometimes a go.
It's been hard days for me, and I've been trying to seek God to understand His will for me and what He wants me to do but you know it seems like nothing and that why I am tired.
Again....my siblings will move in the next couple days to get a job, and when it's my turn. I have no idea to decided what I should do first, there are such things in the front of me and I have to grab one by one...each one has another reason for me to stay or go.
Again... Sometimes I have no idea when they talk to me and  comparing with others' happy lives.
Well maybe some of you who read this would say "Oh poor you" but that's what I am now and I am proud of my struggle. I am so ready for next struggle that this crazy world gives me.

Sometimes I hear this "you're nothing, no body cares and knows you, even your God" but I remember Job and his struggle, I have better situation  than he was and we have same God.

I love being in this place or sometimes on my roof.
I love bring a book here and reading and have a conversation with God. 
I went to this place yesterday and today.
A place where I talk with Him and sometimes cry hehe ;)

Now I remind myself again for what God has done in the past...that's the only thing that makes me grateful in my hard days. Though it hurts and hard but all I want that Jesus please don't let me go... I don't need to always be happy in this crazy world I just need Jesus more and more and more.


Karen said...

Thank you for sharing your heart and your faith. Sometimes things get hard and all I can remember is: JESUS LOVES ME...and that is enough!!

Maryah said...

Praying for you, sister! God loves you and you touch so many lives with your smile--thank you for this post!

Faith said...


your heart for Jesus is just gorgeous! Seriously. You have such an incredible attitude about your struggles. I'll be praying for you! God bless!

Karen Frost said...

Oh sweetie, I am so sorry for your struggles. You have to follow your heart and have faith that everything is going to turn out just fine no matter what. You will always be guided if you listen to your heart, for that is where Jesus lives. Sending you peace and blessings and love.
A big hug xo

Arystha said...

tetap semangat kak, tetap berjuang! <3

Aritha Vermeulen said...

Dear sister in Christ! Keep calm. Its so great your write this words out you heart. So we can all pray for you. And don't forget:

Semuanya itu Kukatakan kepadamu, supaya kamu beroleh damai sejahtera dalam Aku. Dalam dunia kamu menderita penganiayaan, tetapi kuatkanlah hatimu, Aku telah mengalahkan dunia.

DREAMS ON 34th STREET ~ French Bread & Family said...

Blogging is a wonderful way to find support through difficult times. Especially when one feels isolated!
God has blessed us with so many caring "far off friends"!

Stephanie said...

Hi Sister! I loved what you said at the end of your post, "I don't need to always be happy in this crazy world I just need Jesus more and more and more." Unfortunately life is not perfect, but we have Jesus and He is our source of true joy! You mentioned Job and what a man to look up to - look at all he went through. Or what about Paul and his many afflictions, yet he continued on for our Lord :) I think of Esther and the task that was laid before her as queen. I am praying for you, friend of mine! I wish I could give you a hug right now :)

Much love to you, Eva!

Sherri B. said...

Sweet Delvalina, god will most certainly show you what He wants you to do. He will open some doors and close others but it is always in His time. Jesus will never let you go..that is a promise He has made..He will never leave or forsake you.
You will be blessed for your faithfulness.
It is goo that you have shared this with your blog family..I will be praying for you along with the others.
Big hugs to you Sister. xxoo

Anonymous said...

I hear you, my friend. You are not alone. Sometimes it is so difficult to hear our Father's voice when we need guidance. The more we mature spiritually, the more He makes it less obvious...so we seek Him with even more passion than when we were first born again. I will keep you in my prayers. Pray for me too. I have NEVER had anxiety in my life and for some reason I seem to be battling it these days. I believe that part of it has to do with resisting His will. I might say goodbye to blogging for now. It distracts me too much and I think this is why I'm a bit anxious...I'm resisting. If I do, please stay in touch via email, especially with any prayer requests. You can find my email under my header ... by clicking CONTACT.

Peace to you, friend.

Hilda said...

When you hear those negative words saying "you are not good" and such, don't pay attention to them because they are just temptations. Keep praying to God and to The Holy Spirit to illuminate you to give you an answer. Sooner or later, they will give you an answer. Just keep praying for an answer.

Take care, my sister. Hugs!


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